I Wish.

Forewarning: I desperately hate when people complain about their life situations. Deal with the cards you're dealt seems like a solid motto. That being said, don't take this post as me complaining, but more so just getting out what is on my mind. Also, this is like .01% of what is on my mind. So don't think I'm superficial, and don't think I'm shallow. Just think, "she's bored."

That being said:

I wish I had something semi-interesting to blog about ever (I have started and stopped a few blogs in the last few weeks because I kept thinking, "no one cares").

I wish I had more confidence.

I wish I had a full time job and didn't have to spread myself so thin.

I wish Gilmore Girls still ran on ABC Family (even though I own all seasons on DVD...)

I wish I had more energy.

I wish I didn't own all the seasons of Gilmore Girls on DVD.

I wish our house had a DVR in it.

I wish (most days) that I lived not in my parents house.

I wish I wouldn't wake up tired, for no apparent reason almost every single day.

I wish Steve Carrell would have won an Emmy for Michael Scott.

I wish I could forever listen to new music, that someone else would pay for it, and that only the best songs would be on my playlists.

Dreams Come True.

There are few things in life that evoke the raw emotion that happens when your dreams come true. No matter what stage of life we're in, we have wishes, hopes and dreams that often seem completely out of reach. 

But in that instant that they happen, our lives can change. 

When I was in middle school, I went to countless Washington Freedom games at RFK Stadium. I never played soccer (my life was basketball at the time), but I loved (and still love) watching it. The highlight of each game was win or lose, afterwards thousands of girls would line the first row and hold their jersey's, programs and soccer balls over the railing hoping to get their favorite player's autograph. For two years I hung over this railing until one day, my dream came true. I remember thinking as Mia Hamm got closer and closer to me, that I was actually going to meet her. I don't think I said anything other than "thank you" after she signed a now cherished Washington Freedom piece of memorabilia, but I still feel the rush of excitement when I think about that moment. 

I've grown up a little bit since then, and I can't really see my 23 year old self hanging over a railing to get an autograph of a celebrity I admire, but I respect dreams coming true. It doesn't matter how big or small the dream, or how young or old the dreamer. 

That's why this story from last week meant a lot to me:

So in essence, thank you to Mia Hamm and Josh Beckett for allowing at least two dreams to come true. And really, keep dreaming.

Life: Unfinished.

I found this post I had written back in October, and for whatever reason I never finished it and don't even really recall writing it. I do however believe that the words are poignant, and applicable still to my life. I'll post it here as I found it, unfinished.

This past week was full of severely dramatic ups and downs. It seems to me that in life that is simply something that is just required. I can't have a high moment without experiencing a loss, but more importantly I find that I can't be in a low place without experiencing something of great value in my life.  I love this brief story:

"I am not complaining,” my father wrote to my mother from war-ravaged Europe during the closing days of World War 2, when he finally reached the safety of American lines after three years as a POW. “I would not appreciate comfort if there were no hardship. We cannot appreciate joy without sorrow, health if we have never felt pain, or peace until after a war. All things must have their opposites, and we can learn from both." (You can find this article in its entirety HERE) 


The things that I am experiencing are in no way to be compared to the experiences of a POW, but I agree with the statement made and know that I wouldn't appreciate all the great things and blessings in my life, if I didn't have hardships. I found that for too long I monopolized the majority of my thoughts thinking about how hard things were for me.  To be blunt, it did nothing but ruin my mood and I now as I look back, I notice some key opportunities I missed out on because I didn't recognize that there was so much good happening.

As a result, I've changed the way I think.  While certainly I still experience difficulties and hardships, I recognize all the wonder and greatness that is around me. It's in such great abundance that I forget a lot of the time that I've taken some hard hits recently.

Published.

I forgot to mention, I've been published! Click on over to read my guest post in the Look at Book series!

Also, have a great day!

Great.

It occurs to me that maybe no one reads this blog. I've come to the sincere conclusion that I just don't care. Sometimes you're just sitting there, and you just need to vent. I however have talked everyone's ear off in the last while, and I'd rather just type my guts out at this point.

I'm still dealing with frustration; more frustration than I ever predicted possible. And then for the last few weeks, I have been dealing with bronchitis. Which, while minor, is taking my frustration level to an entirely new level. Nothing adds to the excitement of life like an illness. Especially one where you find yourself coughing the most disgusting cough ever possible. However, things could be much worse. A few people have commented recently and said (of my situation) "...and how could things possibly get worse?" Immediately after this sentence I find the nearest piece of wood and knock on it. There's actually no doubt in my mind that things could be worse, and I am grateful for the many things in my life that are simply...great.

                                 

Music in ALL its forms.

These 6 goobers.

Chips and Salsa.

                                         

      Discovering RIDICULOUS movies.

Continuing traditions

  Finding new places to eat in DC

                                                           Ellen comes on at 3...                                                                                                                                                              

                                        

                                              ...and Oprah comes on at 4

 Have no fear, there are about a billion other things on my list.

Today my mind (for whatever reason) has been remembering a quote from one of my favorite movies, Dan in Real Life, and I've been playing it back in my mind over and over:

“Instead of telling our young people to plan ahead, we should

 tell them to plan to be surprised.”     

I've been really learning that while there is a whole lot to plan for in this little thing called life, we will more often than not be quite surprised at the way things turn out with those plans. The thing about a surprise is that it could potentially have a good or bad connotation. I'd like to think however that there is a little good in each surprise. If we take and hold on to that which is good, we will definitely be able to get through whatever is thrown our way.

Unemployed.

Well, it's officially been more than a year since I graduated college. And I'm inching closer to the date a year ago when I realized I didn't in fact have a full time job. There are days I feel like I've completely exhausted all my options: I have no more clue where to apply, I don't have any contacts who seem like they can help me, and I'm just so tired of plugging in my contact information into online employment portals. To sum it all up, I just want to be done with it all.

There's the negative side of things. Let me just say that as of recently, the majority of my days are the exact opposite of all of that. I'm finding that all this free time that I have is really letting me get to know myself better. It's helped that through all this, I moved across the country. I moved home, and while it's a familiar place, I've basically had to start over. Emotionally it's been hard, but I know when I come out on the other side, I will in fact be stronger. And therein lies why things have been so good. A little thing called faith. Things are hard now, there's no denying that, but there is the idea that things will be better.

"Faith is not just 'push a button' and you get the answer. For some vital decisions [we] experience the grueling, anguishing struggle that precedes a confirming answer. Yet those trying experiences [can be] edifying."

I'm learning slowly, day by day that what's really happening in my life right now, is me becoming edified. It's hard to recognize that when I'm in the thick of it, but I know it to be true.

"Faith will forge strength of character available to you in times of urgent need. Such character is not developed in moments of great challenge or temptation. That is when it is used. Character is woven patiently from threads of principle, doctrine, and obedience." All quotes taken from HERE

All I can infer from beautiful words is that my life up to this point has been a preparation for things ahead of me. I know I'll never be given more than I can handle, and while I'm going through this great challenge, that is something that gives me great hope.

Honesty.

Guaranteed in a lot of my posts I will address honesty in people.  Nothing frustrates me more in life than dishonesty.  A lot of teenagers go through phases where for whatever reason, they tell little white lies.  I however, was even always terrible at this and found that being honest was a million times easier and a million times more effective (for reasons that go without saying).

Yesterday I was involved in a conversation where honesty was discussed, and for the last 24 hours I've been thinking about it again in great detail. 

Without honesty, our lives and the fabric of our society will disintegrate into ugliness and chaos.
Gordon B. Hinckley

How unfortunate is it, that we can know that this is something that is happening.  Despite all the wonderful and beautiful things in this world, you don't have to look very far to see that there is clearly ugliness and chaos.  What makes dishonesty so appealing (I really am asking this question to anyone who may be reading, because I simply don't understand)?  It seems to me that if you lie, you need to work that much harder to remember who you've told what, and therefore you'd get yourself caught in this web of something that is entirely unnecessary and entirely fabricated.

If however we choose honesty, we have very little to consider.  We won't ever need to go back and apologize for lying, and we won't ever need to worry about keeping our stories straight.  The greatest difficulties I've had with people are through decisions of dishonesty.  I've lost many friends because I saw this ridiculous web of lies they were creating and they lost a grasp on any sort of reality.  While their lies may have fooled other people, I couldn't be duped and I refuse to go along with that kind of charade.

In a lot of situations it takes courage to choose honesty but, I'd like to think the reward for choosing it is much greater than the alternative. 

In words shared by Richard C. Edgley, he shares this short story that illustrates how an example of honesty can influence those around us:

Some 30 years ago, while working in the corporate world, some business associates and I were passing through O’Hare Airport in Chicago, Illinois. One of these men had just sold his company for tens of millions of dollars—in other words, he was not poor.

As we were passing a newspaper vending machine, this individual put a quarter in the machine, opened the door to the stack of papers inside the machine, and began dispensing unpaid-for newspapers to each of us. When he handed me a newspaper, I put a quarter in the machine and, trying not to offend but to make a point, jokingly said, “Jim, for 25 cents I can maintain my integrity. A dollar, questionable, but 25 cents—no, not for 25 cents.”  A few minutes later we passed the same newspaper vending machine. I noticed that Jim had broken away from our group and was stuffing quarters in the vending machine.

He goes on to say:
There will never be honesty in the business world, in the schools, in the home, or anyplace else until there is honesty in the heart.
The entirety of the article can be read HERE   


I hope we can all find it in ourselves to desire honesty in our own hearts.  I know our relationships will be stronger, our minds will be more clear and our consciences will be free of guilt.